beauty from all directions

Mary Oliver

2012-01-30T13:45:00.001-08:00

“Why I Wake Early

Hello, sun in my face.

Hello, you who made the morning

and spread it over the fields

and into the faces of the tulips

and the nodding morning glories,

and into the windows of, even, the

miserable and the crotchety –

best preacher that ever was,

dear star, that just happens

to be where you are in the universe

to keep us from ever-darkness,

to ease us with warm touching,

to hold us in the great hands of light –

good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day

in happiness, in kindness.”
― Mary Oliver

-John Welwood

2012-01-22T07:48:00.001-08:00

"Awareness born of love is the only force that can bring healing and renewal. Out of our love for another person, we become more willing to let our old identities wither and fall away, and enter a dark night of the soul, so that we may stand naked once more in the presence of the great mystery that lies at the core of our being. This is how love ripens us -by warming us from within, inspiring us to break out of our shell, and lighting our way through the dark passage to new birth."

2012-01-12T20:04:00.001-08:00

I am a person of worth and of endless chances.

You are a person of worth and of endless chances.

They are people of worth and of endless chances.

We are a people of worth.

Of endless chances.

Praying to conclude resentment.

2012-01-10T13:16:00.000-08:00

Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger...or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution (here)

Seriously.

Seriously. That's all I can say.

My heart is aching.

Justice screams to be heard from the depths of me.

That may not be a possibility in this situation. Sadly.

Forgiveness isn't about getting someone else to understand you, that's justice.

That's not the word I need spoke over me.

"Forgiveness may be granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender"

My heart is screaming.

The fellows at Oxford say forgiveness is "'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'"

Seriously.

I heard once, and believe to be true, that forgiveness is about setting the prisoner free and then realizing you were the prisoner.

"It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit. . . forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel." (Mishneh Torah, Teshuvah 2:10)

Oh my heart. Seriously take heed.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7

Mark 11:25 (NIV) “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.”

I long for it to be easier. But easier isn't necessarily equal to better. Often the contrary.

Do not say, "I'll do to him as he has done to me; I'll pay that man back for what he did." - Proverbs 24:29

"`Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." - Leviticus 19:18

Let's talk about subversive. Culturally. Even, in heart terms. This is not where my heart goes easily, first or without intention.

This God that I long to fully follow after calls me to hard stuff.

""But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." - Luke 6:27-31, 35-36

Seriously.

I'm praying.

Moment to moment is sometimes what it takes to get through.

Moment to moment.

The Gift of Friendship

2012-01-08T12:31:00.001-08:00

Friendship is one of the greatest gifts a human being can receive. It is a bond beyond common goals, common interests, or common histories. It is a bond stronger than sexual union can create, deeper than a shared fate can solidify, and even more intimate than the bonds of marriage or community. Friendship is being with the other in joy and sorrow, even when we cannot increase the joy or decrease the sorrow. It is a unity of souls that gives nobility and sincerity to love. Friendship makes all of life shine brightly. Blessed are those who lay down their lives for their friends.

by Henri Nouwen

Emmanuel. God is with us.

2011-12-25T13:55:00.000-08:00

”He was poor, that he might make us rich.
He was born of a virgin that we might be born of God.
He took our flesh, that he might give us His Spirit.
He lay in the manger, that we may lie in paradise.
He came down from heaven, that he might bring us to heaven….

That the ancient of Days should be born.
that he who thunders in the heavens should cry in the cradle….
that he who rules the stars should suck the breast;
that a virgin should conceive;
that Christ should be made of a woman, and of that woman which himself made,
that the branch should bear the vine,
that the mother should be younger than the child she bare,
and the child in the womb bigger than the mother;
that the human nature should not be God, yet one with God

Christ taking flesh is a mystery we shall never fully understand till we come to heaven

If our hearts be not rocks, this love of Christ should affect us .

Behold love that passeth knowledge!”

~Thomas Watson

The Work of Christmas

2011-12-25T13:54:00.000-08:00

The Work of Christmas
by Howard Thurman
When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry,
To release the prisoner,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among brothers,
To make music in the heart.

Day Ten & Eleven

2011-11-11T06:51:00.000-08:00

Veterans & America.

I have oft been moved by service members.

I am thankful for their bravery.

I am thankful for their courage.

I am thankful for their sacrifice.

America, all that it is good and all that is is bad.

I am thankful to be here.

I am thankful for the freedom I have because I live here.

I am thankful that it's still a land of opportunity.

I am thankful for the redemptive power of Christ that can continue to change the legacy that we can set.

I have a happy heart.

Be thankful of your treasures.

Day Nine

2011-11-09T19:06:00.000-08:00

Working from home.

While its busy right now (nearing our trip) and causes obscene fear over being completely responsible for living out a dream, it's good.

I'm thankful for the ability to work while watching TV (Brothers & Sisters), eating oreos and have my puppy snuggled up next to me.

I'm thankful for the Brides & Grooms that chose us this year.

I'm thankful for the daring adventure ahead of us for 2012.

I'm thankful that I am blessed enough to work from home.

Day Eight

2011-11-08T17:37:00.001-08:00

Making choices based on God.

"The God of the Universe delights, DELIGHTS in you. In me. In them. Could we rest in that? Could we live like that?"
Read that online today. If we lived seeing ourselves as "One of His Favorites," How might that impact us? How we treat one another, the choices we make?

I do think that we have moments of greatness. But not because we're great.

I feel like we have these moments where my human brokenness, like the ocean tide, slips back and the KING can wash into the beach of my life and do incredible things. I am thankful that HE relentlessly pursues me. I am thankful that He shows though in my life in ways. I am thankful that there are moments when I see HIM moving.

Day Seven

2011-11-07T19:53:00.000-08:00

Generosity.

Just attended the 2011 National Christian Foundation Passion Awards.

Freedom Fire was a top tier recipient.

That is HUGE.

I am thankful the work there is being noticed, that they have been gifted such a huge gift.

I am thankful for how it's changed my life.

I'm thankful for the lives it impacts daily.

It was so encouraging and challenging to see and hear about all that is happening.

I am thankful to be able to see the movement of HIS people.

I am thankful to see Kingdom minded people moving in mass.

I am thankful for kingdom-minded-generous people.

Day Seven: Generosity

Day Five & Six

2011-11-06T17:23:00.000-08:00

Five: November, the changing of season. I am thankful for the ability to watch the world pull in, hunker down, the color leaves...yet I'm so reminded that the promise for spring, and the need for winter...and the masterful Artist behind it all.

"November comes
And November goes,
With the last red berries
And the first white snows.

With night coming early,
And dawn coming late,
And ice in the bucket
And frost by the gate.

The fires burn
And the kettles sing,
And earth sinks to rest
Until next spring."
- Elizabeth Coatsworth

Six: Freedom. The ability to pick up and go to Herman for the weekend. To stop and lunch with friends. To come home and work or just lounge. (choosing work) but still, it's a choice. I'm living (albeit it in a fearful abandon) big things I've dreamed for my life. I am thankful that I have the freedom to make those choices.

Day Four

2011-11-04T19:22:00.001-07:00

Family.

Not because of the alliteration (though that is handy)!

Family is not defined only by blood, though I"ll start there.

I was put in my family by purpose. It was not chance.

I am who I am, because of them.

Each of the good and the bad moments.

The laugher and jokes that I share with my siblings.

The growth in my relationship with my parents.

wonderful.

Then my family in-laws.

beautiful.

I have been gifted the BEST husband in the world. I'm crazy excited about having life with him. I'm so wonderfully blessed.

The family he was born into, has blessed my life, immeasurable.

The way they love, the way they circle around me is more amazing than I could have ever hoped for.

They challenge, encourage, the breathe life, they are a comfortable rhythm.

I am excited about more life with them.

Then the family by-choice.

The people, the handful that I've chosen to draw into a space, to share life, those that have chosen me, that have drawn me in.

They deepen, sustain and love me in a way that without which I would not be me.

Day Four: FAMILY.

Day Three

2011-11-03T15:39:00.001-07:00

Kansas City.

To me this is a big one. I've really fallen in love with my city for the last few years. It's not where I was born, but it's where I've become me. Where I have rooted in. Where I graduated college. Where I first lived on my own. Where I became a wife. Where I've become a photographer. Where I became a volunteer. Where I will be for many years to come.

I am thankful that it's big enough to wonder around and find new pieces.

I am thankful for colorful doors.

I am thankful for new architecture.

I am thankful that it's small enough for me to run into friends at the apple store or the lobby of a local elementary school.

I am thankful for the ability to whip across town on the highway.

I am thankful for the ability to drive the long way through neighborhoods.

I am thankful for the diversity.

I am thankful for communities of connection.

Today, I am thankful for my city...Kansas City.

Day Two

2011-11-02T14:51:00.001-07:00

Friends.

I'm blessed deeply with many amazing friends.

They encourage, they challenge, they love, they entertain...they give depth and meaning to my life.

I wouldn't make it a day without them sustaining me.

Day 1

2011-11-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

November is for Thanksgiving.

As in giving-thanks. Not just the one big gluttonous day...which is also great in its own right!

November I need to focus on that which I have and am thankful for, which is MUCH!

Some days I get blown over by the winds of everything...self-doubt, fear, busy-ness...everything!

So as I near the end of my busy season at work and prepare to travel to INDIA (HUGE!!) I want to be mindful to center myself.

Tonight, I am thankful that my amazing husband gave up his evening to work on updates for my company's site.

Day one: Jonathan

(because of said India trip, about 1/2 of these will be delayed)

Image of God

2011-11-01T20:45:00.001-07:00

Scripture never excludes anyone from the dignity that goes with being in the image of God, and we may not exclude them either. Each human being is wonderfully precious in God’s sight. That fact has enormous implications for the way we treat other people (Gen. 9:6; James 3:9-10).

- SALVATION BELONGS TO THE LORD by John M. Frame

Work

2011-11-01T20:36:00.000-07:00

You don't always get what you wish for, but you always get what you work for. New motto! Focusing on a new attitude.

Messy Beauty

2011-10-20T06:04:00.000-07:00

Just hold on. There is beauty in the mess. He works all things for good...even if we can't see it for a while.

A good day...

2011-09-24T14:45:00.001-07:00

Woohoo! You've read all the messages in your inbox.

Giving. Hope.

2011-09-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

Did something for someone today. I feel so full by having been able to give in that way. I know there are countless named and unnamed people who labored over me, poured into me, prayed over me, payed into me and moved mountains for me to be where I am. Today, I was able to pour just a bit more over to someone else. The words of gratitude I received blessed my soul.

"every person needs hope planted at the bottom of their hole".

"We lay our hope, full and tender, into the depths of Him and wait in hope for God to resurrect something good. Good always necessitate long waiting." Ann Voskamp

Forgiveness.

2011-09-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

Got zinged with a question tonight. "Do you want to forgive?"

I couldn't honestly answer yes.

But I know I should.

I'm praying for a heart that turns to forgiveness. Not because it will change the relationship. Not because they will even ever know. But for my heart. I need prayer. I'm praying for a heart that can say yes to forgiveness. That doesn't feel the need to cling to my hurt. To need to be right. To need to be understood.

I'm in need of my Savior. Of that much, I know.

Deut 6: 4-9

2011-09-17T13:19:00.001-07:00

4 “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.[a] 5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Fear less, hope more.

2011-08-28T15:02:00.001-07:00

Facebook has a new thing where it shows me what I posted this day a year ago.

Wise words that hit me a year ago today....that I still like:

"fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more"

A view on men and women (via That 70's Show)

2011-08-28T14:51:00.000-07:00

Scene: Basketball game between the friends.

Eric de-pants Donna during a basket in front of the guys.

She's wearing granny panties, you know the kind.

Donna storms off.

Guys heckle Eric about how much trouble he is in.

Donna tells Eric she is fine.

Valentines day.

Eric gives Donna underpants, to replace her granny pantie ones.

Donna storms out.

Donna's kitchen.

Donna to Jackie, "Why didn't Eric know that when I said I was fine, I meant I will be fine...so long as he kisses my a** for two weeks. I swear brain damage."

Ah, the finiteness of relationships between men & women.

Gregory David Roberts

2011-08-28T14:43:00.000-07:00

‎"Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears.”

Thomas Keating

2011-08-28T14:42:00.001-07:00

"Silence is the language God speaks. Everything else is a bad translation."

Washington Irving

2011-08-26T19:57:00.001-07:00

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”

50 First Dates

2011-08-22T20:49:00.001-07:00

Really a great love story...albeit Adam Sandler, but still there is something about that movie that gets me.

A guy, so crazy for a girl, he spends every day showing her his love.

Though she does not remember him. At all.

Every day, she awakes to the newness and fullness of her life.

(I really like the end where she has gotten married and awakes to the newness of her life there...how full.)

How great that she daily gets to live her life out in the freshness of the beauty that surrounds her.

Amazingly profound gift.

If only, every day, we could wake with fresh eyes.

I dunno, maybe it's just me?!

Wordy Wednesday: on Monday!

2011-08-08T15:50:00.001-07:00

Ah, I'm a slacker blogger, but oh well. I show my re-painted kitchen...for now, I read this and wanted to mark it so I could remember it....so I could really let it seep into my soul.

"The poor tell us who we are, the prophets tell us who we could be, so we hide the poor, and kill the prophets."
--Phil Berrigan (via my dear friend Sara's status)

2011-08-02T16:51:00.001-07:00

“Trust in the goodness of God”

2011-08-02T16:51:00.000-07:00

“Trust in the goodness of God”

Retreated

2011-07-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

“Oh, if we would only remember who God is!” —AW Tozer

I had such a beautiful reminder of who He is and who I am in Him this weekend.

Wonderful retreat with the women at camp Shalom.

Jumped in with a prayer, 27 women holding hands, tears flowed freely, I believe there was not one there who didn't feel certain she was there for a purpose.

Beautiful time of fellowship, diving into worship and the word...of course food too...followed by a viewing of My Big Fat Greek Wedding (which we couldn't help but draw parallels how she wasn't living out the story she was called to).

The morning broke forth in a dance party in the kitchen, to worship music.

Love it.

Love the amazing women that I get to grow with.

Followed by more sweetness in the Lord, sharing and praying.

Communion.

Return home.

Already needing to cling to the reminders I was given. The words spoken to my heart.

The gentle encouragement that I was in MUCH MUCH need of.

Got some awesome words about loneliness and resting in Him.

Struggles I've been having lately.

too much.

I was in much need of this time of fellowship, to be reminded.

Now to keep remembering...and plowing forward.

Where my heart is...

2011-07-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

Insane lately. No words to even begin.

I want to learn to love well.

God is love.

I want to be like Him.

I have Hope.

Today, He is pointing me to hope and I am leaning into it...

I probably will need to be reminded tomorrow, but He has patience with me, because I'm not finished yet.

thank heavens.

God is Love

2011-07-10T14:49:00.001-07:00

Read this on the internet today. I liked it....letting it speak to me.

"“Loving” doesn’t mean weak or passive. Love is strong. Love builds what he needs to build and destroys what he needs to destroy for the sake of his beloved. Love is passion. Love is justice. Love is wrath. Love is kindness. God IS love.

Perfect love casts out fear. This is because love is better than fear. Fear gets you to obey the speed limit if you suspect that there may be police around, but love for the passengers in your car makes you drive carefully. Fear can get you to obey rules, but it cannot transform your heart. Religion that is based in fear says things like “well, yes God is love, but….”

No. God is love. Period."

Updates

2011-06-27T17:47:00.000-07:00

We went the the Makers Faire on Saturday. It was a good time. We walked away with this fun thing....
http://www.starbaseprojects.com/maker-faire/1st-maker-faire-pm/080-sarah-and-john.gif

Reading on this today.

How are you guys doing? LIfe is moving along here...very much in a phase of anticipation and waiting...for many things.

Day One

2011-06-17T06:48:00.000-07:00

I was reading through my archives this morning. It's funny. I believe I need to spend more time writing. I reread things I've written, and marvel at how my I learn about myself by just writing.

"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that." Gal. 6:4 (posted here originally)

It's funny to see how much growth has happened from here to here. Reflecting on growth, life and death...and the random words that encourage me along the way from home to home and some of the images that move my soul.

"I dwell in possibility"

2011-06-17T06:30:00.001-07:00

I dwell in Possibility--
A fairer House than Prose--
More numerous of Windows--
Superior--for Doors--

Of Chambers as the Cedars--
Impregnable of Eye--
And for an Everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky--

Of Visitors--the fairest--
For Occupation--This--
The spreading wide my narrow Hands
To gather Paradise--

Emily Dickinson

Let's just fall in love....

2011-06-13T20:29:00.000-07:00

There is much going on here. We are moving into a crazy amazing, God-sized adventure. My heart is saying yes, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes my soul is surrendering to HIM. And increasingly, I'm believing that is His aim. To have me live in a place where I say yes to HIM. I long to process more in written word. I think for a time I ought return to my trusty pen and journal pages that smudge with ink for the privacy these choices and this journey is calling of me for now. But, I can give testament to the beauty of the community God has planted me in. It's a beautiful site to behold. Daily I seem to be amazed by the strength, determination, grace, faithfulness and love I witness in the women in my community..those I am graced to call friends. Oh that I might be half the friend I have in these great women.

I pray for the grace of the Almighty to envelope you so fully that your spirit lets go in a dance of joy that is His presence.

“God is not a belief to which you give your assent. God becomes a reality whom you know intimately, meet everyday, one whose strength becomes your strength, whose love, your love. Live this life of the presence of God long enough and when someone asks you, “Do you believe there is a God?” you may find yourself answering, “No, I do not believe there is a God. I know there is a God.”

~Ernest Boyer, Jr.

Charles Spurgeon

2011-06-09T09:16:00.001-07:00

“…there is nothing you can want, there is nothing you can ask for,

there is nothing you can need in time or in eternity,

there is nothing living, nothing dying,

there is nothing in this world, nothing in the next world,

there is nothing now, nothing at the resurrection-morning,

nothing in heaven

which is not contained in this text —

“I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

~Charles Spurgeon

Why God Made Little Boys

2011-06-07T15:58:00.000-07:00

God made a world out of His dreams, of magic mountains, oceans and streams, Prairies and plains and wooded land.

Then paused and thought I need someone to stand, on top of the mountains, to conquer the seas, explore the plains and climb the trees.

Someone to start out small and grow, sturdy and strong like a tree and so He created boys, full of spirit and fun to explore and conquer, to romp and run

With dirty faces, and banged up chins
With courageous hearts and boyish grins.

And when He had completed the task He'd begun, He surely said, "That's a job well done.

~Author Unknown~

Year One

2011-06-02T09:37:00.000-07:00

This weekend was the celebration of our one year anniversary.

To me, it's INSANE that I could have been married for a year. But indeed we have. It has been amazing.

There really are no words to express how much joy this man brings my days. Just by being himself. Just his presence.

I love this life we're building together.

The adventure we are taking.

The risk to love.

The joy it brings.

I didn't take many pictures this weekend, but I did spend time capturing the dinner I cooked for him on Friday night.

I got him a new belt and a wallet. It was small, but things he needed and wouldn't have gotten for himself. He got me a new record player!!

The remainder of the weekend was filled with couples massage, movies, melting pot dinner, laughing, walking, sitting, porch, cigars, sunshine, worship and love.

One of our wonderings took us to River Market Antiques and this sweet little honey came home with us. It's a little sleeper sofa...perfect for extra seating and overnight guests!

Jonathan, I'm so honored to be your wife and look forward to a life of adventure, joy and loving you!

Today

2011-05-29T13:05:00.001-07:00

I
Do not
Want to step so quickly
Over a beautiful line on God's palm
As I move through the earth's
Marketplace
Today.

I do not want to touch any object in this world
Without my eyes testifying to the truth
That everything is
My Beloved.

Something has happened
To my understanding of existence
That now makes my heart always full of wonder
And kindness.

I do not
Want to step so quickly
Over this sacred place on God's body
That is right beneath your
Own foot

As I
Dance with
Precious life
Today.

~ Hafiz ~

(The Gift - versions of Haifiz by Daniel Ladinsky)

Good Morning Friends,

2011-05-17T07:33:00.001-07:00

Editing photos this morning...I love my work!

I need to get energy to hit a Jazzercise class today...

or at least open the mini-blinds to let that sun spill in!

I'm listening to this with my sweet little puppy curled up next to me.

Can life get any better?

Blessings as you journey today.

A Girl Like Me...on race & beauty

2011-05-16T14:35:00.000-07:00

I saw this video online.

The recreation of the study, the young girl at the end in the purple jumpsuit, the one with white cartoon characters on it, breaks my heart.

So much of the goodness that God desires for us, as women is lost, when we let the world tell us we are of no value, or not good enough. It's a hard lie to fight, because it's been engrained for generations. It's passed on from our mothers, most usually unintentionally. However, not paying attention to it, can be as damaging as propagating the lie itself.

I pray for this chain, this stronghold, to be loosed.

No, for this chain of oppression to be demolished, destroyed and cast into the furthest places.

My prayer, for sometime, has been that young women would know their value.

That they, that we, would be rooted and grounded in love. Oh, how things would begin to be different if more women, myself included, lived from that place.

My heart has broken countless times as I've shared lives with some amazing women. I've watched their triumphs and struggles, and seen the world tell them their value...but to see a woman, particularly a young women, come to know her value in Christ. To see herself as He sees us. That is the most breathtaking thing to see.

"I believe that progress has been made in the last decade, but undoubtedly women of color are still fighting the subtle and pervasive racism that says that beauty should look like a blonde, white woman." Oh, how sad this world would be without color.

How sad it that as woman of varying shades of color, we devalue, undervalue or wish ourselves away.

I love the idea of God as an artist, alas THE artist. He has created a world, a reality, so full of beauty that when I dwell on it for long, I become overwhelmed with emotion. I see His goodness. I see His mastery. Oh, how much would be lost without the beautiful shades of color He has used to knit each of us together...intentionally....perfectly...

Wordy post: EE Cummings

2011-05-13T17:03:00.001-07:00

“here is the deepest secret nobody knows
it is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)”
- E.E. Cummings

Afternoons...

2011-05-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

I had a heavy heart today. Missing a dear friend that passed several years ago; I have days I long to talk to her like it happened yesterday.

So I drove.

I needed the movement, but lacked the energy to physically exert it myself.

I wondered around a store.

Came home with some pretty little treasures, but aptly fit the nature of my friend...she was always finding little treasures. Funny how it is.

Now some eye candy for you....while I go do some cupcake baking!

(sorry for the poor phone camera quality...it is the easiest)

Wordy Wednesday: Plato

2011-05-04T09:36:00.001-07:00

“You learn more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” -plato

Naps, plates & apples.

2011-05-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took a nap. This nap kept me energized for the wonderful family dinner that I hosted (SCORE a BIG win for Tilapia Masala...and plans to make family dinners a bi-weekly practice!) However, said nap, did cause me to be a slight annoyance to my husband last night at mid-night when I STILL couldn't sleep. FINALLY, I got to sleep and woke up a bit tired this morning. Add that to my as-of-late urber emotional self and I was a bit in a funk this morning.

SO.... I went to Jazzercise. Which was VERY helpful. Movement always makes my heart calm down.

After, I still needed a little pick me up, so I wondered around Mission and ended up down to Salvation Army. I spent a whole $5.35 and came home with these.... (forgive the phone pics)

I'd seen (and drooled over) these at a couple different places before. They are so darling! This time they were $0.96 each!

I"ve already put them on my table, unfortunately they didn't have matching small plates but these little pretties sit on top and look beautiful!

FINALLY, I have some plans for this little beauty....

I hope you have a wonderful afternoon...I"m off to edit photos!!!

Sunday...

2011-05-01T12:49:00.000-07:00

Have had such a beautiful day.

Worship.

Lunch.

Now on the couch listening to Kirk Franklin work it out while I edit photos and the husband watches basketball.

I've so been living in a place of joy. I have lots of thoughts that the Lord has been leading me to lately, that I do hope to share soon, but for now....be blessed....be worshipful....be with family....be near HIM.

Even more Breakfast at Tiffany's!

2011-04-28T07:02:00.000-07:00

Enjoy Part II....over on this blog!

Blessings over your day.

I'll wait for you

2011-04-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Natasha shared this, and even encouraged me to watch it. I want EVERYONE to watch it now. I've sent it along to all of my girls to watch.

Wordy Wednesday: Community, do we have it?

2011-04-27T13:29:00.000-07:00

Sherry Turkle has this to say about the differences between online and offline relations:

[When we} broaden the definition of community to include virtual spaces, [we] strip language of its meaning. If we start to call online spaces where we are with other people “communities,” it is easy to forget what that word used to mean. From its derivation, it literally means “to give among each other.”

Communities are constituted by physical proximity, shared concerns, real consequences, and common responsibilities. It’s members help each other in the most practical ways. On the lower east side of Manhattan, my great grandparents belonged to a block association rife with deep antagonisms. I grew up hearing stories about those times. There was envy, concern that one family was stealing from another. And yet these families took care of each other, helping each other when money was tight, when there was illness, when someone died. If one family was evicted, it boarded with a neighboring one. They buried each other. What do we owe to each in simulation? What real-life responsibilities do we have for those we friend [on-line]? Am I my avatar’s keeper?

-Alone Together p. 238, 239

Thoughts?

Breakfast at Tiffany's!

2011-04-26T10:09:00.000-07:00

Finally some party pics over on the business blog...check it out!

Watch to the end...

2011-04-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

I hope you're moved this morning.

Moved by the glory of what today means.

That today HOPE was given.

Jesus is alive.

I'm not sure if there are any sweeter words that can be uttered.

This is a weekend marked by anticipation, both then and now.

Found this video this morning.

There is something profound on many levels that happens at the end.

In general, I'm moved by seeing HIS people worship en masse.

So just like they did that fateful weekend so long again, wait till the end...because then you see it's just the beginning!

HE'S ALIVE!

2011-04-23T14:53:00.001-07:00

I will post about the shower soon. I'm actually going to be doing it over here next week...so be sure to check it out (and leave comments because I heart comments!)

In the meantime enjoy these little sweet things (seriously baby stuff is the cutest!

Jesus

2011-04-22T17:40:00.001-07:00

He loves me.

He redeems me.

He saves me in ways I could never imagine.

It's Good Friday.

Good isn't the first word I'd pick to describe this particular day.

Or that one so many years ago.

Seems strange.

When I think back to what He went through that day.

He is the ultimate good.

God had a plan. The ultimate plan.

He wanted to make a way.

Sin had to be overcome.

Destroyed, nail by nail.

Painful sweat.

The tears that were shed at His feet.

I wasn't there by my tears move generations and continents to spill forth in unison.

They join in as proof of the weight of His gift.

His sacrifice.

He is love.

He loves me.

He redeems me.

He came to save us.

He is good.

Today we remember what was scarified for our scrubby lives to be redeemed.

It's strange. But good.

2011-04-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

My house is quiet.

I hear the hum of my mac.

I have tastes of chicken salad in my mouth it is mingling with my mouth wash like 7th graders at a school dance...awkward!

Occasionally I hear a growl from a creature who must imagine himself twice his real size.

A simple whistle now quiets him, I believe it's for fear I'll return to the water bottle.

I took my husband to the airport this morning along with his brother and good friend. They are going to New Orleans for a long weekend bachelor party. He's excited. I'm hoping that I'm busy enough the next few days will sail by quickly.

It's funny how quickly you adjust to another persons presence. Not their momentary or even lingering physical presence, but the presence that fills your days together...days that stitch and wind themselves together to become our life. His comings and goings have come to anchor my days. I like that each morning and each evening he is here.

"Let what you love, be what you do." Read that this morning.

This week has been strange. Good strange. But strange all the same.

Last week I had a furry of activity but this week, I'm sort of in a resting phase.

A holding pattern almost.

A filling up.

A recharge without intentionally plugging in.

Much to do, and really have been fairly busy.

But I'm learning the deep need for a routine.

Schedule.

Habitualness.

Beginning to get a handle on my new role and orientate myself to it's reality.

This week though, I've had this angsty feeling that I should be returning to "work" but I'm not so I feel like there is something I'm not doing.

It's weird.

Good weird.

I love this thing, this future and so I'm excited to let it be what I do.

Excited to not have my job running me, but rather choose to run my career.

It's strange. But soooo good.

Wordy Wednesday: Charles Spurgeon

2011-04-20T14:58:00.001-07:00

‘Graces unexercised are as sweet perfumes slumbering in the cups of the flowers: the wisdom of the great Husbandman overrules diverse and opposite causes to produce the one desired result, and makes both affliction and consolation draw forth the grateful odours of faith, love, patience, hope, resignation, joy, and the other fair flowers of the garden. May we know by sweet experience, what this means.”

~ Charles Spurgeon

Congrats!

2011-04-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

Today was a success (trust me I'll share). It was such a joy to shower my dearest friend in the world today. I hope she was blessed and felt as loved as she is. She is going to be the most amazing mama! (and yes there will be TONS of pictures when he arrives this summer).

More Hepburn

2011-04-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

The best friend has always loved Ms. Audrey Hepburn.

I've always known it. But for no particular reason I've not really connected to the affinity.

However, I think in my planning of this shower, I have become smitten as well.

I think it was a lack of knowledge before.

Just reading some quotes attributed to her. I really think she is the kind of gal I could have liked...so now, officially, I am a fan!

"Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come... The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present, and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future."
— Audrey Hepburn

(here)

Now off I go to do some of this....

procrastination

2011-04-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

I'm putting off getting up off the couch, that's mostly because I was running around CRAYZY all morning. In the meantime, I did want to share this sweet little project with you.

My friend Kate (aka Katers) and I went shopping at Good JuJu. I found this sweet little deal (oddly I had been wanting an artichoke...who knows why, though.) Anyway, later that day I went by Urban Mining and found it's little match...I was OVERJOYED!

a little spray paint later...

such sweet little additions to my home!

Audrey Hepburn: Bonus Wordy Wednesday

2011-04-13T11:04:00.000-07:00

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible”!"

In honor of Ms Audrey Hepburn's spirit which is dwelling in my apartment this week, we'll have an extra post today!

Wordy Wednesday: Awareness

2011-04-13T05:35:00.001-07:00

...the fruits of my day!

2011-04-11T15:40:00.001-07:00

Picked up some cheap flowers while I was grocery shopping. They make my entry way adorable (granted said display is in preparation for a darling event this weekend...not that I'm excited or anything!)

lovely little beauties!

2011-04-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

I've spent a lovely weekend with this little beauty!! Meet little Miss Jaylynn, she has been a joy! (though im ready to get some time with the hubster)

Prepaing to spend my week working on little beauties of this nature!

Not that I think a baby & mini-cupcakes are super similar...but just my current focus!

To Whom it May Concern:

2011-04-08T11:03:00.001-07:00

It is with sincere sadness that I submit my two weeks notice to the Admissions department with Colorado Technical University.

I have enjoyed working here and appreciate the support, flexibility and development provided me during my tenure with the company.

Please let me know what to expect as far as my final work schedule, accrued vacation leave, and my employee benefits. If I can be of any help during this transition, please let me know.

Sincerely,

Sarah

GULP.

“I haven’t a clue how my story will end, but that’s all right. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, that’s when you discover the stars.” -Nancy Willard

So today, was/is the day I've been counting toward thsi week. It's bitter sweet. There are faces I will dearly miss. There are parts of my role here that will be strange to no longer be part of my life, that I will miss doing. I will miss having stories of students changing their lives. There is a security of a large company that I'm sure I will have moments of missing. BUT...

...what is waiting, is great because it's unknown! I'm aware that I'll have moments where I battle that unknown. Where it's glory won't be so obvious. I am so grateful for the freedom that I have to make this choice. To work for myself, with my bestie...doing something creative that I love. I mean seriously, I'm honored to get to do this, because I understand that it is not something that at any other point in my life could I do. We've worked hard to get here, and I know the hardest work has yet to begin...but let me tell you friends, I'm sooooooo excited!

And the tune resonates in the open space...

something like 22 hours....

2011-04-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

Down to mear hours.

I suppose something like 22 hours, as per the counter on the right.

(that you can see only if you're not reading from google reader!)

Really, only 5 of those hours will be spent from this small yellow office.

I'm nervous.

I'm excited.

I'm nervous some more.

I can't wait.

I have a marvelous weekend planned.

Next week will be crazy. Next weekend is the crazy amazing shower.

Following that, three weddings in two weekends. Then I'll need some sleep.

And then, some point after that...I believe it will catch up with me...

The gravity of this change will be forceful.

There is much to be done.

I'm so excited about setting up office.

Creating a NEW routine.

Re-defining MY normal.

I'm all in.

I'm so excited.

& a little nervous!

Here it goes, I must JUMP!

Freedom Covenant

2011-04-06T10:49:00.000-07:00

My church.

Full of sorted characters.

Me, chief sinner among them.

The Son shines on us still. Showing me His love is great.

It was warm on Sunday we pull off the overpass.

Our windows down.

Sign expressing the need of a homeless man...

Whose face we know.

"Good morning Gary!"

"Hey guys, I think I'll be at church...I'll see you soon!"

The light changes and we move on.

I head over for coffee.

Return to the table with the worship presentation.

I turn and see, Gary's shaking Bruce's hand.

Smiles had by all at the greeting of a friend.

Friendship runs deep in this place.

Bruce moves to greet others. Gary remains.

I watch as he silently fumbles with some bills and places a portion in the plate.

I am moved.

My worship is different today.

__________________________________________

This exchange, these moments have been on my heart all week. Not sure why it touched me so. Or what excatly the Lord was pointing out to me. I felt called to share. I wish I had something moving or philosophical to share or communicate in light of it. But...I think it's better simply to sit with it.

3/4's a Wordy Wednesday

2011-04-06T10:38:00.001-07:00

For your enjoyment on this Wordy Wednesday...
...and my hopes for the next phase of my life:

“If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live” – Lin Yutang

oh, and also...

out of
days remaining!

2/4th's is better known as HALF!

2011-04-05T14:10:00.001-07:00

out of

yup....better known as half way to the finish line!

Is it just me, or is the weather just beautiful?! I mean I'm not out as much as I'd like to enjoy it, but I love stepping outside and feeling the sunshine wash over me. I love that fleeting hour of lunch. Driving with my sun roof down. Finding myself aimless because being in my car with the music up and windows down is the only place I can imagine being. I'm in a good moood today. No particular reason, just content...that, for me, is a win!

I don't know if I mentioned, but I'm throwing this AMAZING baby shower soon, because my very dear bestie is having a baby (which officially makes me an Auntie...if you hadn't heard!)

Today, I made a run to Hobby Lobby over my lunch and found just the cutest little things for the shower. I have a picture, but I'm trying to keep the details under wraps for a few more weeks. I PROMISE to share more details than you ever cared to see when it's all done. I'm getting a feeling that it will be a pretty spectular shower. I've made the mom-to-be swear not to walk out in disgust, so at least we know that much!

A little bit I feel bad for some of my close friends, they are getting the wrath of emails that is me when I'm excited...you know since I can't email the bestie. I send pictures way too much (you know the spamming problem I have)...they have gotten so many pictures I'm certain they will be glad when it's done!

On a side note: As I was skimming the blog for links I realized that sometimes words pour out of me, and I look back and see their divine root, because they are so much greater than I. I read them and wonder, did I write that? Simply because I become encoruaged by it, and I KNOW I don't have that much wisdom. So if this blog serves as nothing better, than a way for me to re-read words that HE puts in me, it's a blog well served!

Be encouraged, be content my friends!

1/4th

2011-04-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

1 down, 4 to go...

Sigh, I'm feeling very ready. Got some wisdom to think of other things while I wait. So today, I'm gonna tell you about about my Saturday shopping trip purchase!

It was a "first weekend" which I was pretty stoked about. So my good friend Katers and I set out to explore the wonders of Good JuJu and Liberty Belle.

Before we even got in the store, I saw this beauty.

I then called my loving husband, he answered and said, "what do you want to buy." Before I even said anything...he knows me too well! It was a pretty good deal so he agreed to split it with me (though the next day we went back with the family and he found a chair...not wicker and I'm without picture. So, I ended up spending all of my spending money). I'd say it's a good investment, it needs a little cushion, but really it was comfy and the remainder of my Saturday looked like this:

2011-03-31T10:22:00.001-07:00

{here}

Yes!

2011-03-22T09:57:00.001-07:00

(here)

2011-03-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

Found this in the onlines....love it! (source)

blessed truth!

2011-03-10T15:24:00.000-08:00

(source)

Phone Picture Updates!

2011-03-08T16:33:00.000-08:00

I love having internet on my phone. (This is newer for me. Yes my husband is geek-tastic and I'm just getting internet...waa waa!)

So with said internet, I now regularly take pictures and spam people with them...to me it's great fun!

I say spammed because I really have no clue how the dear recipients feel about this practice.

For example, I just spammed my husband with this picture...bragging about my mid-day manicure with my bestie...and still enjoying the beautiful diamonds he's invested in!

Speaking of my bestie, a few weeks ago I spammed some friends with this picture, now that she has her invite, the secret theme is out of the box!

(lame attempt to block our private info...ahg!)

I was so incredibly thrilled with how her invites came out...if I hadn't done them myself I might brag a bunch more (and a special shout out to Katers who did lots of sticker-ing to give them that extra bling!)

There are tons more secrets to share about the best baby shower ever, but alas, they are still secret...stay tuned I've been scheming, dreaming and planning (while also properly documenting) for weeks now, so I'll have some content to share after mid-April!

On Courage & Vulnerability

2011-03-07T16:20:00.001-08:00

"The word courage comes from the Latin word cur, meaning heart. The original understanding of the word courage means to tell the story of who you are from your whole heart."
In my massive online readings, I stumbled upon these words one day recently. I kept reading it over and over, trying to let the words to wash over my soul.

The story of who I am, from my whole heart.
I like how the sounds.
But do I have it...the courage to do that, to be courageous?
What does courage ask of me? How do I resign myself to it? Let it spill out of my words?

I think so much of my heart is filled with rubble that I have gotten comfortable moving around, that I forget it's supposed to be there. Oh I do see the rebuilding efforts, the movement the Master has made in there, but I know there is more to be done. He's not finished with me yet. not finished with me. (this lends itself to another conversation about grace as He's not done with any of us yet...but I'll save that for another day.)

The same article went on to say: "This means owning who you are and maintaining your vulnerability. In our culture we are losing the tolerance for vulnerability. We equate being vulnerable with being weak. So we hold on to PERFECTION and PERFORMANCE and PLEASING rather than admitting weakness."

Anyone else out there saying, Amen?

Some of the best spaces/seasons in my life are those where I can be/am/where vulnerable. Marriage is a continue request to be vulnerable. But the fruit of such a labor is amazing. The sweetest rewards come, the most precious relationships, the deepest waters.

I'm moved by those types of relationships. But they take work. It is a contunial cultivation to keep that a healthy space. Life teaches us that some might exploit our vulnerability, so we retreat. We are honest about mistakes, failures or inadequacy and someone uses it to shame us. We don't become messy in one day, it's a mvoement over time. It's each moment building upon another, gashes giving way to gashes. We hate vulnerability because it is at the core of fear, anxiety and shame.

The sweetness of renewing, restoring, rebuilding done by our precious Savior. It too is done bit by bit. Vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, love, creativity, faith.

For the silent weepers, know that you’re not alone. You’re not abandoned or forgotten, but adopted and loved by God. Today, tomorrow, and always. [Eph 1:3-8]

Prayer Update

2011-03-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

Do you remember Poutchino? Natasha gave an update today that a family has been found for this sweet boy! What a great thing to be able to update you on! Seriously, this kid is amazing...I'm so excited to see how God continues to move this story and provide and prompt and answer.

2011-03-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

had to update the little countdown on the right. I thought it was down to 28 days, but really it's 36 days....sigh. It's still coming fast!

For Quiet Confidence

2011-02-28T16:46:00.000-08:00

O God of peace, who hast taught us that in returning and
rest we shall be saved, in quietness and confidence shall be
our strength: By the might of thy Spirit lift us, we pray thee,
to thy presence, where we may be still and know that thou
art God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

(from the Anglican Book of Common Prayer)

And then, simply because I think it's beautiful...enjoy this eye candy!

(source)

Table

2011-02-24T08:10:00.001-08:00

So, in case you're not totally bored of my dining room...here's one more post about it!

Ginger and I found these cute little plates, so I added them to the table...

yummy gold napkins...

I'm sure I'll post more about it as it evolves. Or perhaps someday have something more important to blog about...but I doubt it?!

Happy Snowy Thursday!

Wordy Wednesday

2011-02-23T07:40:00.000-08:00

My best friend sent these words to me on a Wednesday in May of 2009. I found them as I was cleaning out the email box. I heart them and thought they could be good words for today.

Sometimes I need to remind myself…

Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others; even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy

MAX EHRMANN 1927

Chandlier ...an addition to our sweet little home!

2011-02-22T08:49:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I gave you a hint of this project. Today, I'm excited to share the end result, but it may not be so exciting since you've already had a glimpse! I have been wanting to get this completed for a while but the snow and grit outside has caused a delay.

Ginger and I got this at the restore for about $15...I can't remember for sure.

A bit of TLC (also known as a $2.75 can of white spray paint!) and some free labor from the husband...

FINALLY my lovely end project...

The dining room still needs some love. I'm gonna start work on some curtins soon. And dreaming of finding a little loveseat to go in there. The odd chairs and the red table from days of yore, will all be going elsewhere soon. I've also added some other new touches to the table setting so I might grab some pics of that tonight to show off my free finds the other day.

(Seriously isn't that about the most adorable plate ever? It was free with 15 of it's matching friends!)

Yea for the changes in our sweet little home!

{disclaimer: all the photos are junky, but I just wanted to capture the process and the phone is a handy tool since I don't own a point & shoot camera!}

sneak peak

2011-02-21T09:37:00.000-08:00

I was planning to blog today, even prepared by sending myself the images that I wanted to use, but somehow they did not arrive. So I will share with you one image that will allow you some details of what's to come! I'm so excited...it's so fancy.

Happy 37 Days!!

Day Dreaming

2011-02-16T07:54:00.000-08:00

Just a little mid-week dreaming....that has been flittering through my mind all week. I sent an email with a picture to my husband...

"Someday I’d love to own a sweet little retro camper like this with you ...

or this."

To my joy, and further testiment to how wonderfully he compliments my life, he said : "I always imagined retiring into something like that with you!"

I mean how cute are those things? How romantic does it feel? No destination? Open road? Freedom flowing out through my finger tips? Camera in hand, Jonathan in the seat next to me? Ah, bliss.

To live in an airstream, it would seem, would require either a large storage locker or a monk-like dedication to minimalism, but the longer I live the more monkish I believe I could be. However, the monk life might not be able to afford the insane cost of some of these beauties! Some with a smidge smaller price tag, or even this pretty little lady.

I honestly can't imagine anyone who wouldn't want to build a life around a vessle named Bambi!

What about you? Could you do it?
Could you live and be happy in a stylish Airstream trailer?

Prayer’s for Poutchino

2011-02-14T12:39:00.000-08:00

This is a sweet boy who brings joy to the soul. He has an magnetic smile that cuts into your spirit in a way that I believe only Jesus can. My sweet friend, Natasha worked with him while she was in Haiti, and after the earthquake, he was given a medical visa and has made astounding strides while here the last year. Please pass this along to anyone, in any way you can. He needs a forever family.

Prayer Needs: that he would be adopted before march.

Information about him: Putchino is a happy little man who turned eight years old, on jan. 8th. He was born with water on his brain, resulting in brain damage, and needs medical attention that he can only get in America. After the 2010 earthquake in Haiti he came to the states on a medical visa, which expires in mid march. Poutchino needs to remain here for medical reasons, and when the visa expires he will have to go back to Haiti, if not adopted before then. In the last year he has grown 8 inches, gained 14 pounds, learned how to say two words, feeds himself, walks on his own, and many more huge inprovements while here in the states. Please join our community in praying that a loving family will be able to adopt him, providing him both the loving home and access to medications that he needs. If you would like to know more about Poutchino please contact Natasha Jovin natasha.rae.taylor@gmail.com, 913-579-3180 or Nancy Brickell brickell05@yahoo.com , 904-568-8833

2011-02-10T12:06:00.001-08:00

In the best of times and the not as good times, I need to seek HIS solace.
Things have been rough with my job lately. Some days I'm just so confused by so much. So much that I can't share, but trust me when I say it's trying.

But then, I pause...and read this.

Psalm 34:1-3 (The Message)
1 I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise.

2 I live and breathe God;
if things aren’t going well, hear this and be happy:

3 Join me in spreading the news;
together let’s get the word out.

My troubles today are temporary, tomorrow or next week or eight weeks from now I'll have new ones. All is tempoary. He is the only constant I can rely upon. I let my focus slip from that and I'm lost.

someone wake me up....these moments are fleeting

2011-02-08T16:50:00.000-08:00

my soul does well to listen to these amazing words. this big wide internet is full of much God and much good. it would do us well to pay attention. to emerse our hearts in those things. these things that can touch us in ways that the other mindless gossip...flittering away hours on facebook....tweeting our twits....none of that can come close to His beconning that we come near.

these moments are holy.

so i'm lame and can't get this embedded....just go watch it.

Words I like...

2011-02-08T11:28:00.001-08:00

"I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion." ~Henry David Thoreau

looking deeply for beauty

2011-01-25T08:27:00.000-08:00

I read this in the big ol' internet today. It moved me.

"I invest in this blog not only because I love the art of weaving words and images together to tell a story, but because, in doing so, I find myself looking more deeply for the beauty in life and consequently finding it in more places."

I want to live more intentionally in that type of space. The type that stops when I'm moved by beautiful light. Or speak when I see eyes hurting to share. Or just to be still with myself, to love deeply each moment instead of counting/wishing/demanding for what I anticipate the future to be like.

"I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."
-Dawna Markova

looking deeply for beauty.

Faith

2011-01-24T10:29:00.000-08:00

Some days, I don't have a big faith like I ought to. And Jesus answer[s] [me], “Truly, I say to you, [Sarah], if you have faith and do not doubt...even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen." [additions mine].

Why can't I live from that place? A faith that solid? A faith that believes I have that power? I can use words to encourage others to live fearlessly like that, yet I let those words be far from my own heart at times.

Why do I worry about things that pass away, things that do not matter?
Why do I listen to a voice that says that I can't, when HE tells me I can.

I choose BIG FAITH TODAY. I choose to trust more than I can comprehend! Not over anything particular, but Lord, just over my right now.

2011-01-23T17:33:00.001-08:00

“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. Give the best you have and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.”

- Mother Teresa

A Year Later

2011-01-12T06:06:00.001-08:00

My heart seems to have known, without my reminding, that we have come to a year. A year after the devastation hit. A year after lives were torn apart. A year after everything changed. I'm not really sure what to say. I'm praying and fasting today for the nation of Haiti. My heart was captured many years ago by Haiti, something that can only be understood by those who too have been captured.

Linking to some posting a year ago.
1/12/10
1/13/10
1/13/10
1/13/10
1/14/10
1/15/10
1/16/10
1/16/10 again
1/20/10
1/20/10 my trip recap.
1/26/10

please be praying today. for a nation that was shaken to it's core. weep as they weep. help as you can and see fit. my heart is beeping.

Isaiah 41:10, 13 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. . . . For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Jonathan

2011-01-05T07:48:00.000-08:00

Sending a HUGE birthday shout out to my husband today.

He is 29 today...so for need to be corney I will share 29 things I love about him/reasons I am glad he was born (plus there is a possibility that he's my only reader, so it won't be offensive to anyone else...if it is come back soon I'll have some updated DIY projects to share!)

So to my VERY favorite J...

29. you're funny
28. you're caring
27. you're helpful
26. you genuinely love people
25. your steady constant faith
24. your determination
23. your unending patience
22. your passion for life
21. your passion for others
20. your passion for ME!
19. the way your support my dreams
18. that you listen to me
17. not only are you funny but you're silly...a child at heart in all the perfect ways
16. that i never have to worry about computers, cars or money!
15. that you are honest
14. how your love your family
13. you are so intelligent
12. you have a warm spirit
11. you also keep me warm at night
10. you cuddle with me...we fit so perfectly
9. you teach me
8. your always willing to learn, grow and be challenged
7. your very presence brings me peace
6. the way you interact with other people's kids, makes me so excited for our future!
5. the silly things you request I cook (frito pie?!)
4. how you eat nearly anything I cook and encourage me in it!
3. the way you see the world
2. the way you show me Christ
1. the way you love me. it is better, fuller and deeper than I could have dreamed in my best dreams, so blessed that you are my reality!

I am because you are. -African Proverb

Glad you are my forever...excited for the next year together!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUSBAND!

The more I focus on living, the less it seems I need.

2010-12-08T09:52:00.001-08:00

ditto.

My J's

2010-12-07T10:12:00.000-08:00

So the day was perfect! I awoke a little afraid I wouldn't be able to round them all up, but it ended up that they were all there with very little effort to find them...they were about as excited as I was! Only two from the original 7 weren't able to make it...which I think was excellent odds!

We ate, we laughed, we teared up, we danced, we cooked...we encouraged and were encouraged!

It was all I would have hoped for our time. I love these girls, and I am me because of each of them.

I'm gonna share some pictures today!

{our fancy table...Ginger should be proud}

{They recalled a project from a long time ago where they'd written encoruaging notes to one another and they wanted to use this as a chance to do that again. It was cool to hear them each say how they still have and value that little craft project! So we used the books I'd gotten them each and filled them to the brim with love!}

{my girls}

{all of us}

we could be a Christmas card!

Four of them (one that hadn't been there Saturday) came to Church with me Sunday...such a splendid weekend!

My Girls

2010-12-03T12:02:00.001-08:00

I am feeling almost overrun with emotion right now.

I am preparing for a Christmas breakfast tomorrow with my girls.

If you have known me for long, you know who I'm talking about, probably even met some of them.

8 years ago when I stepped out in faith (not even knowing it was that), God planted 7 girls in my life. These girls where not the ones I would have chosen. They were not little girls that were easy to lead. They were mouthy. They were 13-15 years old. They were seemingly uninterested. But oh my heavens, how deeply I've been changed because of them.

Jessica. Jasmine. Jamie. Tanisha. Hattie. Josh-lynn. Jackie
(others later adding to the mix, but that was my original set)

It has taken work, fight, prayers and tears over the last 8 years. We have forged a bond. We've been changed. I've been changed. Our bond is One that has so deeply impacted me, I'd not even notice it exsited because it is just so who I am. I'm on the verge of tears now, just thinking about how much I have grown to love these girls.

(If you haven't caught up, I became their Bible study leader in 2003 just a year after learning about Freedom Fire, and in attempts to get more involved with the ministry).

I've spent a week planning the food, arranging the time, coordinating the rides, setting, and resetting my dinning room table in preparation for a special breakfast with them tomorrow. This breakfast mirrors the tradition we had which was an overflow of our weekly time together. Until the most recent year I'd been meeting with a variety of combinations of them very regularly. And now I feel in a way I'm preparing my heart. Life has swept us along, and my life has changed so much this year that I've not been able to meet with them as I had. It's been hard on me. But I'm trusting the bigger picture, His plan for me right now.

I wanted to get them something small in appreciation of the season. I found these small books by Max Lucado (a long time favorite of mine) called, God Thinks You are Wonderful. It was a small book. Ideally targetted at a small child. But seemed to fit perfect my heart to share a small gift representing the GREATEST gift they can receive.

They are at varying stages of their walks with Christ. Some are leaders and making an impact for the Kingdom, some are struggling. But each has so much potential to change the world. These girls are amazing. They are gifted. They are caring. They are ambitious. They are brave. They are wise. They are strong. I am honored to call them friend. To call them sisters.

I just want to pay public (or slightly public since like three people read this) to these young women. And ask that you pray for them. Life can be cruel. Situations can be challenging. Life is hard. They are up against steep obstacles by nature of things outside their control. And if I've hoped for one thing, prayed the same prayer, for the longest...it’s that they each know how deep and wide and full the love of Christ is.

"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (here)

finding wisdom for my day!

2010-11-19T09:30:00.000-08:00

Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. {here}

Photography Contest | Silhouette

2010-11-16T06:07:00.000-08:00

thought I'd enter a picture in this contest, because I've always loved this picture!